When a child needs help making a decision, we guide them. 

We lay out the pros and cons, simplify the problem or situation and (this is the key part) we oftentimes gently persuade them to make the decision we think is best. 

This guidance comes from a place of care.

After all, as adults, we often have the experience to know what choice will probably be the right one.

But what happens when we take that approach with other adults, specifically in the seller-consumer relationship?

What happens when we believe we know what’s right for someone else and we use techniques to encourage a specific action from them?

This icky approach is what I call Consumer Infantilisation.

Now, I get that a lot of what I'm going to go into can just fall into the “manipulative marketing” basket, which is also why this was post was quite hard for me to write (literally months have gone into the thinking behind this!).

Because I kept asking myself: Am I overcomplicating something or just making stuff up to prove a point that doesn’t need to be made?

I mean, maybe.  

But then there a big part of me that says, "No, trust this feeling".

Because when I read so much of the copy online, there’s this voice inside me screaming, “Stop speaking to me like you know what's best for me!”

That's when I realised that Consumer Infantilisation isn't exactly a technique, it's a mindset. 

It's a belief that consumers seeking help for a problem don’t know what decision is best for them, and so it's the job of copywriters and marketers (on behalf of their clients) to manipulate people’s buying behaviour “for their own good”.

In this blog post, I'll talk about how I've noticed this showing up in marketing practices both as a copywriter and as a consumer.

What exactly is Consumer Infantilisation?

Consumer infantilisation is a term I use to explain how I've felt when experiencing sales copy when buying, and also as I was taught various "classic" marketing techniques. 

While I created this term from my own experience, after a bit of Googling I've seen that I'm not the first to use it, though as a different concept. People have found that adults are increasingly being treated like kids in media and it's changing the way businesses interact with their consumers (hence the term "consumer infantilisation").

That's also interesting!

But I'm referring to something different:

A very specific mindset of a marketer/seller that upholds sales strategies that influence a person's buying behaviour. 

This persuasion is often justified with the belief that sellers are helping the consumer because they have the professional experience to know what's best for someone... and so it's their responsibility to do whatever it takes to influence someone's actions. 

In my earlier career days, I was in various copywriting groups where mentors often said things like:

• "No, you’re the expert, you tell them what they need."
• "It's ok to give people a little nudge." (<-- In other words - use all your persuasion techniques.)
• "They don’t know any better, so you need to explain why this product/offer is the best choice."
• "Sell them what they want, give them what they need." (--> While this one can be used in a non-icky way, it's often not.)

It all felt GROSS.

And that's one of the biggest reasons I started unlearning lots of the techniques I spent years learning. 

How consumer infantilisation shows up in common marketing practices.

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Consumer Infantilisation Practice #1:

Oversimplification of Information

There's a common sales technique in copywriting which is to focus heavily on the problems the buyer is facing and the outcome of being rid of that problem, while glossing over the details of the process.

For example, using the PAS framework (pain, agitation, solution), we highlight the pain points, agitate these issues and then present an offer as the solution – without providing all the information on how exactly this solution works.

This framework assumes that the how of the solution is irrelevant as long as the end result is achieved.

Because if you’ve achieved your goal, who cares how it happened, right?

Yeah, not quite.

Here's what I mean.

If someone's feeling low in energy and wants more energy and to feel better, they could get that through:

• An exercise regime to build stamina (e.g. personal trainer)
• A sleep-focused treatment to get more rest (e.g. sleep therapist)
• A hormone and nutritional panel to see what’s going on in the body (e.g. naturopath or endocrinologist)
• A pre-workout that has literal amphetamines in it (practically legal party drugs... ask me how I know).

The “what and how” is exactly what people need to know because without this information, they can’t decide if a specific approach aligns with their wants, needs and values.

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Consumer Infantilisation Practice #2:

Authoritative Messaging

Standard copywriting often uses assertive language to tell consumers what they need, such as, "You need this in your life" or, ‘Right now you’re feeling…”.

This overlooks the fact that everyone has unique preferences and doesn't take into account that a potential buyer might have needs that can't be overcome by "doing whatever it takes to achieve their goals" (boss babe hustle culture, I'm looking at you). 

For example, if a person is the primary carer for a parent or a child with extra needs, or if they have chronic health conditions, or if they're working multiple jobs, all of that would make it difficult to implement advice that is meant for people without those extra responsibilities or restraints. 

A conscious copywriting way would be to use messaging that asks consumers to reflect on their specific needs and circumstances and see how a product might fit into their lives.

Phrases like:

• “Does this sound like what you've been experiencing...” 
• “[Product name] is for people who [explain the demographic you can help]. See how it could work for you...”. 
• “If you’re someone who [describe the demographic], [Product name] might be the right fit for you. Here’s what you need to know...”

This way we respect consumers' intelligence and decision-making autonomy, and offer them info to understand and choose products on their own terms.

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Consumer Infantilisation Practice #3:

Exploiting the power imbalance

There’s a natural power imbalance at play when a person is seeking help from a professional.

That means that because of this power imbalance, someone is also more likely to 'do what they're told', even when it feels like it's going against their instinct or even will.

You may have heard about the Milgram experiment which showed this obedience to authority. If you haven't, the conclusion basically showed how people were willing to go as far as actually causing harm to others in order to obey authority – when they usually wouldn't be willing or able to do so.

This is obviously extreme and, in marketing, we're not giving anyone electric shocks. 

But we are influencing their lives, and in many cases, impacting their finances and livelihoods.

We don’t need experiments like Milgram’s to recognise this power dynamic, though.

I've certainly felt firsthand just how powerful perceived authority can be. I say "perceived" because, oftentimes, the people I listened to didn't actually have any authority over me . For example, a business coach who – very confidently – instructed me to do something that was absolutely not right for me... and I obliged because, well, they know what they're doing, right?

While I don't expect that you or anyone interested in conscious marketing would use these techniques, it's important to be aware of these power dynamics that are already at play.

Knowing just how much these dynamics can influence decisions, we should go the extra mile to make sure our customers feel safe and respected. It could be as simple as providing easy ways for people to share feedback or voice concerns, and even give space for people to "push back" to us where something doesn’t feel right for them.

What are Consumer Infantilisation's impacts and effects on the business-consumer relationship?

Here's where I could talk in-depth about...

• How these techniques often break consumer trust over the long term.
• How when consumers feel deceived or undervalued, it can lead to weakening consumer loyalty.
• How manipulative marketing tactics can lead to buyer's remorse and a lower chance of repeat business (and higher chance or return requests).
• How these strategies can initially boost sales, but they can harm the brand image over the long-term.

But honestly, I don’t want to talk about the business side of not doing this.

We shouldn’t fall into this trap and mindset of Consumer Infantilisation not because it's not good for business but because it’s just the most basic human thing to do.

Strategies to avoid falling into this perspective.

Since we've already clarified that Consumer Infantilisation isn't a set of techniques, rather a belief or philosophy, the single best way to avoid falling into this is to:

See our consumers as on the same level as us. There is no hierarchy.

As professionals, we are supporting others, but ultimately, they know what's best for them. It's not our job to persuade their actions (unless they are hiring someone for this support like a therapist). 

Knowing this, you will likely also be able to start spotting this persuasive language when you see it show up in sales copy or funnels. You may notice that 'something doesn't feel right' feeling when you're being encouraged to do something that isn't for you. 

Here are some ways you can use marketing practices that respect your community and their autonomy:

Provide clear, detailed and in-depth information

This doesn't mean providing a brain dump of words, rather to avoid oversimplifying complex information. By providing detailed descriptions of products and services, we allow consumers to make informed decisions based on a full understanding of what they are purchasing. 

Offer Genuine Choices

Give consumers the freedom to choose without steering them toward one particular decision – unless, as I mentioned before, they have specifically asked for or hired you for this.

Encourage Questions and Feedback

Create ways for people to ask questions and provide feedback without any judgment or worry that their concerns won't be heard, that they'll be dismissed or that there will be negative consequences on the relationship between the business and the consumer..

Avoid Tactics that Manipulate Emotions

Use marketing messages that speak to logic and reason. That doesn't mean not acknowledging someone's emotions, rather not leaning into their emotions in a way that would ask them overrule their logical or intuitive decision-making. 

The crux of all of this is: Treat people with respect, even when 95% of marketers say otherwise.

This is why I truly believe that Respect Belongs in Online Marketing – and my business it built upon that rally cry.

There can be but a fine line between being conscious and persuasive (read The Overlap Between Conscious Copywriting and Persuasion Marketing Techniques for more on that topic), but for business owners who want to build strong and respectful relationships with their community, it’s important to address this issue.

Think about your own experiences with marketing, either as a consumer or as a marketer. Have you noticed practices that felt patronising? Condescending? Infantilising?

Luckily, we can choose to do things differently.

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I'd love to hear what you think...